There are two things I would like to investigate here, so this is a two part blog. First I will discuss a bit of philosophy. Second I will investigate the reason that I haven't been blogging recently.
PART I: Philosophy
I believe there is a great misunderstanding regarding the phrase "Live in the moment." The phrase essentially sums up the entire concept of Buddhist philosophy. I say philosophy and not religion because I am not religious. I am however philosophical, and my investigation of philosophy has included a study of the religions.
So, to reiterate, much of Buddhist philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Live in the moment." Of course, this phrase has made it's way into the mainstream. I'm not going to take the time to investigate when or how, but it is a phrase uttered quite frequently by everyone from celebrities, to self help gurus, to your average stoner. And I've never really thought about that concept much before, the pervasiveness of the phrase, nor have I stopped to consider before the difference between the interpretation and reception of the phrase compared with the deeper philosophical meaning of the Buddhist concept. But during my evening cigarette tonight I had a bit of a revelation on the subject and I thought to share it.
When we hear the phrase "Live in the moment.", I believe that most of us think of it in terms of "Do what you want" or "Do whatever makes you happy right now." But I think that this not only misses the point of the philosophical meaning, but in fact undermines it completely. The Philosophical concept of living within the moment, I would assert, actually means that you should find happiness within the moment, regardless of what you are doing. It means that no matter if you are at a crazy and wild party, or simply taking out the trash on a boring Wednesday evening, you should be equally happy, equally fulfilled. Living in the moment means finding the joy in the simple act of existing. Every activity should be viewed as equally profound and equally meaningful, because the simple fact that you are here to exist, to be, is always both profound and meaningful no matter what you are doing. Joy can be taken in the mundane, and in fact the belief that anything you do is more significant than another is the road to frustration and misery. For such a belief is an endless cycle of desire, of trying to find meaning, trying to find fulfillment. It leads to dissatisfaction because nothing you ever do can quite live up to the ideal of fulfillment and happiness that you hold in your mind. But when you truly "Live in the moment.", fulfillment and happiness are ever present in every activity.
To simply "do what you want right now" only reinforces the view that such wants hold meaning. And I'm not at all saying that wants are bad, or wrong, or to be rejected. Trust me, I certainly have my hedonistic side. Wants are perfectly fine, and in fact completely natural. But they are not the endgame, they are not the key to fulfillment. I'm not an advocate of chastity in any respect or interpretation, but believing that doing what you want will lead you to deep meaning and understanding regarding your place in life is a fallacy.
Because the grand truth is that your "place" is one of insignificance. Even if you become a great person among our civilization, even if you become the president of the United fucking States of America and single handedly alter the course of our history; we are still a species of animal that arose on this planet relatively recently, a planet that circles a star that is one of one-hundred-billion in our galaxy, a galaxy that is one of one-hundred-billion within the range of our most powerful telescope. No matter who you are, you are pretty small in the scheme of things.
And while this is meant to make you feel small, it is not meant to make you feel irrelevant. Your relevance is in the fact that you ARE. You exist! And how fucking cool is that?! But don't think that what you accomplish is in and of itself fulfillment. Fulfillment is as simple as being fulfilled in whatever you accomplish, no matter what it is. That's the point, to simply enjoy it, whatever it is you do. whether you become president, or simple live a peaceful life taking out the garbage every Wednesday, neither should be considered better or worse, and both can bring the same amount of joy, if you let it.
In fact, I would argue that if you cultivate a mentality in which you are happy doing whatever it is you are doing, you will find yourself doing the things that will lead to healthier and more "productive" future moments. If you are as happy getting drunk on Tuesday as you are working on a novel, you are more likely to become a famous writer. Of course, I don't in any way claim to have mastered this mentality, but I think I've started to understand it recently. I have a long way to go. I'm not always happy, not always fulfilled, and I still make "bad" choices, like occasionally getting drunk on Tuesday instead of painting or writing or being productive, mostly because I believe on such a Tuesday that I will be happier by doing so. But I never am, and it never leads to anything. And for the record I was amazingly happy and fulfilled 30 minutes ago when I took out the garbage.
Of course, getting drunk on Tuesday is still ok. Just don't think that it is the key to happiness.
PART II: Blogging
A good friend of mine recently pointed out that it was time for another blog update. After all, it is more than halfway through March, and I haven't blogged since January. Of course, I was aware that I hadn't been blogging. I'd asked myself why and the answer was a simple "Eh, I don't feel like it." This response was never questioned until my friend brought it up, and then I was suddenly forced o ask myself, "Why don't you feel like it?"
The answer, of course, is not a simple one. There are many factors that I have come up with.
The primary factor seems to revolve around the purpose of this blog. When I came to Korea the purpose was clear. Document my experiences, talk about Korea, let people know what's going on. The problem recently however is that pretty much nothing is going on. Not in relation to Korea anyway. I've run out of stuff to say about Korea. I've been here for 7 months. I'm used to it. Nothing is new, interesting, or impressive. This is just where I live, this is just what life is, and what is there really to say about it? Of course, I would be happy to take questions about Korea if there are any, but nothing comes to my mind to create any sort of discourse on.
That's not to say I have nothing to write about. Ideas that I would like to investigate, such as the philosophical discussion in Part 1 of this post, come to me frequently. Sometimes it is a matter of philosophy, sometimes it is a matter of psychology, sometimes it is a matter of politics and the structure of government. I am constantly thinking, and I frequently have an idea that I would like express, or else simply write about for the sake of my own investigation into the details of that subject.
But there are several problems with this as far as this blog is concerned. First, it seems to belay the nature of this blog and the reason that people read it. As far as I can tell, people read it to find out what's going on with me, not what I'm thinking about. Posts in which I discuss the fact that I feel depressed and out of sorts receive far more comments than posts discussing the nature of children and their sociological interactions. Of course, that could be interpreted to mean that people simply don't know what to say about the latter, but still, writing publicly can be a difficult thing without feedback. (That's not a guilt trip by the way)
But potentially more of an issue with simply blogging about my mental ramblings on Life, the Universe, and Everything is the fact that these thoughts are more difficult to retain long enough to blog about. It seems that quite frequently throughout almost every day I will have some sort of deep observation that I would like to investigate further through writing about it. For me writing is a meaningful activity because it allows me to organize and explore my thoughts in a way that results in more clarity than simply thinking about them. In this way it doesn't matter if anyone reads what I write, because I am writing to simply understand my own understandings.
The problem is that these thoughts disappear relatively quickly. I have maybe 24 hours to get them down before they become part of my internal understanding, but detached from my external expression. I simply don't have the time to blog as much as would be required to keep up with my mental musings. I love writing, but it's also a lot of work. I agonize over every word choice, attempting to phrase the exact connotation that exists within my mind. A post such as this one requires about two hours of writing, proof reading, and editing to produce. When you're already working 55 hours a week, and struggling to maintain/create a social life so that you don't feel like a complete hermit, that's a very significant amount of time. I lose the mental capacity to reverberate my thoughts more frequently than I have the time to actually express them, and that can be very frustrating.
On that note, here's one of the things I would have written about today if I didn't have a job, and if I had the time to just sit in front of a computer typing for 8 hours a day. There were a few others, but they are already lost to me. Given unlimited time, I would write an 8 page psychological and sociological investigation into just this subject. Also, this is less to make a point than it is to document an idea to see if that helps me come back to it later.
The nature of discipline. Why are some children such assholes? It seems to me that people are almost born either with the disposition to care about others, or else to think only for themselves.And with regards to the latter, how much can discipline be a factor in positive growth? In the micro sense, it seems like my efforts of reward and punishment are almost futile. Reward does seem to solidify the concept with the "good" kids that they are acting correctly, but by punishing the "bad" kids, it seems to further polarize their psychology, if anything, only serving to further push them in the direction of self interest. Additionally, while treating their behavior with tolerance and kindness doesn't further polarize them, it doesn't seem to serve any purpose in terms of encouraging them to act with any more empathy towards their peers. And I certainly can't reward bad behavior. This is perhaps the most difficult aspect of being a teacher. Of course, I have no knowledge of the home life or parenting styles, so I am unable to extrapolate how this factors into the behavior of these children. Still, it makes me think a lot about nature vs. nurture and, in the case of nurture, what we can do about such behavior. Even assuming that discipline can eventually correct the negative behaviors, does it ever serve to correct the underlying mentality that, in such young children, produces those behaviors? I would like to hope so, but the scope of my observation is far to limited to say one way or the other.
And with that, I bid you goodnight.
Adieu
PART I: Philosophy
I believe there is a great misunderstanding regarding the phrase "Live in the moment." The phrase essentially sums up the entire concept of Buddhist philosophy. I say philosophy and not religion because I am not religious. I am however philosophical, and my investigation of philosophy has included a study of the religions.
So, to reiterate, much of Buddhist philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Live in the moment." Of course, this phrase has made it's way into the mainstream. I'm not going to take the time to investigate when or how, but it is a phrase uttered quite frequently by everyone from celebrities, to self help gurus, to your average stoner. And I've never really thought about that concept much before, the pervasiveness of the phrase, nor have I stopped to consider before the difference between the interpretation and reception of the phrase compared with the deeper philosophical meaning of the Buddhist concept. But during my evening cigarette tonight I had a bit of a revelation on the subject and I thought to share it.
When we hear the phrase "Live in the moment.", I believe that most of us think of it in terms of "Do what you want" or "Do whatever makes you happy right now." But I think that this not only misses the point of the philosophical meaning, but in fact undermines it completely. The Philosophical concept of living within the moment, I would assert, actually means that you should find happiness within the moment, regardless of what you are doing. It means that no matter if you are at a crazy and wild party, or simply taking out the trash on a boring Wednesday evening, you should be equally happy, equally fulfilled. Living in the moment means finding the joy in the simple act of existing. Every activity should be viewed as equally profound and equally meaningful, because the simple fact that you are here to exist, to be, is always both profound and meaningful no matter what you are doing. Joy can be taken in the mundane, and in fact the belief that anything you do is more significant than another is the road to frustration and misery. For such a belief is an endless cycle of desire, of trying to find meaning, trying to find fulfillment. It leads to dissatisfaction because nothing you ever do can quite live up to the ideal of fulfillment and happiness that you hold in your mind. But when you truly "Live in the moment.", fulfillment and happiness are ever present in every activity.
To simply "do what you want right now" only reinforces the view that such wants hold meaning. And I'm not at all saying that wants are bad, or wrong, or to be rejected. Trust me, I certainly have my hedonistic side. Wants are perfectly fine, and in fact completely natural. But they are not the endgame, they are not the key to fulfillment. I'm not an advocate of chastity in any respect or interpretation, but believing that doing what you want will lead you to deep meaning and understanding regarding your place in life is a fallacy.
Because the grand truth is that your "place" is one of insignificance. Even if you become a great person among our civilization, even if you become the president of the United fucking States of America and single handedly alter the course of our history; we are still a species of animal that arose on this planet relatively recently, a planet that circles a star that is one of one-hundred-billion in our galaxy, a galaxy that is one of one-hundred-billion within the range of our most powerful telescope. No matter who you are, you are pretty small in the scheme of things.
And while this is meant to make you feel small, it is not meant to make you feel irrelevant. Your relevance is in the fact that you ARE. You exist! And how fucking cool is that?! But don't think that what you accomplish is in and of itself fulfillment. Fulfillment is as simple as being fulfilled in whatever you accomplish, no matter what it is. That's the point, to simply enjoy it, whatever it is you do. whether you become president, or simple live a peaceful life taking out the garbage every Wednesday, neither should be considered better or worse, and both can bring the same amount of joy, if you let it.
In fact, I would argue that if you cultivate a mentality in which you are happy doing whatever it is you are doing, you will find yourself doing the things that will lead to healthier and more "productive" future moments. If you are as happy getting drunk on Tuesday as you are working on a novel, you are more likely to become a famous writer. Of course, I don't in any way claim to have mastered this mentality, but I think I've started to understand it recently. I have a long way to go. I'm not always happy, not always fulfilled, and I still make "bad" choices, like occasionally getting drunk on Tuesday instead of painting or writing or being productive, mostly because I believe on such a Tuesday that I will be happier by doing so. But I never am, and it never leads to anything. And for the record I was amazingly happy and fulfilled 30 minutes ago when I took out the garbage.
Of course, getting drunk on Tuesday is still ok. Just don't think that it is the key to happiness.
PART II: Blogging
A good friend of mine recently pointed out that it was time for another blog update. After all, it is more than halfway through March, and I haven't blogged since January. Of course, I was aware that I hadn't been blogging. I'd asked myself why and the answer was a simple "Eh, I don't feel like it." This response was never questioned until my friend brought it up, and then I was suddenly forced o ask myself, "Why don't you feel like it?"
The answer, of course, is not a simple one. There are many factors that I have come up with.
The primary factor seems to revolve around the purpose of this blog. When I came to Korea the purpose was clear. Document my experiences, talk about Korea, let people know what's going on. The problem recently however is that pretty much nothing is going on. Not in relation to Korea anyway. I've run out of stuff to say about Korea. I've been here for 7 months. I'm used to it. Nothing is new, interesting, or impressive. This is just where I live, this is just what life is, and what is there really to say about it? Of course, I would be happy to take questions about Korea if there are any, but nothing comes to my mind to create any sort of discourse on.
That's not to say I have nothing to write about. Ideas that I would like to investigate, such as the philosophical discussion in Part 1 of this post, come to me frequently. Sometimes it is a matter of philosophy, sometimes it is a matter of psychology, sometimes it is a matter of politics and the structure of government. I am constantly thinking, and I frequently have an idea that I would like express, or else simply write about for the sake of my own investigation into the details of that subject.
But there are several problems with this as far as this blog is concerned. First, it seems to belay the nature of this blog and the reason that people read it. As far as I can tell, people read it to find out what's going on with me, not what I'm thinking about. Posts in which I discuss the fact that I feel depressed and out of sorts receive far more comments than posts discussing the nature of children and their sociological interactions. Of course, that could be interpreted to mean that people simply don't know what to say about the latter, but still, writing publicly can be a difficult thing without feedback. (That's not a guilt trip by the way)
But potentially more of an issue with simply blogging about my mental ramblings on Life, the Universe, and Everything is the fact that these thoughts are more difficult to retain long enough to blog about. It seems that quite frequently throughout almost every day I will have some sort of deep observation that I would like to investigate further through writing about it. For me writing is a meaningful activity because it allows me to organize and explore my thoughts in a way that results in more clarity than simply thinking about them. In this way it doesn't matter if anyone reads what I write, because I am writing to simply understand my own understandings.
The problem is that these thoughts disappear relatively quickly. I have maybe 24 hours to get them down before they become part of my internal understanding, but detached from my external expression. I simply don't have the time to blog as much as would be required to keep up with my mental musings. I love writing, but it's also a lot of work. I agonize over every word choice, attempting to phrase the exact connotation that exists within my mind. A post such as this one requires about two hours of writing, proof reading, and editing to produce. When you're already working 55 hours a week, and struggling to maintain/create a social life so that you don't feel like a complete hermit, that's a very significant amount of time. I lose the mental capacity to reverberate my thoughts more frequently than I have the time to actually express them, and that can be very frustrating.
On that note, here's one of the things I would have written about today if I didn't have a job, and if I had the time to just sit in front of a computer typing for 8 hours a day. There were a few others, but they are already lost to me. Given unlimited time, I would write an 8 page psychological and sociological investigation into just this subject. Also, this is less to make a point than it is to document an idea to see if that helps me come back to it later.
The nature of discipline. Why are some children such assholes? It seems to me that people are almost born either with the disposition to care about others, or else to think only for themselves.And with regards to the latter, how much can discipline be a factor in positive growth? In the micro sense, it seems like my efforts of reward and punishment are almost futile. Reward does seem to solidify the concept with the "good" kids that they are acting correctly, but by punishing the "bad" kids, it seems to further polarize their psychology, if anything, only serving to further push them in the direction of self interest. Additionally, while treating their behavior with tolerance and kindness doesn't further polarize them, it doesn't seem to serve any purpose in terms of encouraging them to act with any more empathy towards their peers. And I certainly can't reward bad behavior. This is perhaps the most difficult aspect of being a teacher. Of course, I have no knowledge of the home life or parenting styles, so I am unable to extrapolate how this factors into the behavior of these children. Still, it makes me think a lot about nature vs. nurture and, in the case of nurture, what we can do about such behavior. Even assuming that discipline can eventually correct the negative behaviors, does it ever serve to correct the underlying mentality that, in such young children, produces those behaviors? I would like to hope so, but the scope of my observation is far to limited to say one way or the other.
And with that, I bid you goodnight.
Adieu
